The growing body of research in pre- and perinatal psychology over the past twenty years has made it clear that we can no longer think of babies as unconscious and unaware of the events prior to and during their births, and that, regarding an adopted child, we must ask "Why wouldn’t the separation from the mother to whom he/she was connected for nine months affect an infant?" (Axness, M. W. What is written on the heart: Primal issues in adoption, 1998)

"All adoptive parents are dealing with traumatized babies" (Verrier, N. Interview in The Birth Scene, APPPAH website: http://www.birthpsychology.com/). All adopted babies are dealing with issues of abandonment and loss, having been separated from the only connection they’ve ever known. Trauma may take place at any or all of the following points:

at conception, in that their conception was usually unintended and unwanted,

in utero when their mother learns she is pregnant and reacts to the news, and when the birth father gets and reacts to the news.

early in pregnancy, as the mother debates whether to keep or give up her baby, or perhaps seriously considers abortion,

later in pregnancy, as the mother (and her baby) processes feelings about the pregnancy and the growing baby,

during birth, in much the same way as many other babies experience their births, but compounded by the fact that they are in the process of leaving not only the body of their birth mother, but her presence and her care;

after the birth, when they may spend time in a hospital nursery and/or foster home among strangers before being taken away by other strangers, or simply being handed directly from mother’s body to the adopting couple, often without spending time with the person to whom they have been bonding for the previous nine months, perhaps without having previously "met" the new parents.

in their new family, where their welcoming new parents (and possibly siblings) may not be prepared for the way their longed-for baby interacts with them.

While some babies demonstrate clearly their struggle with being adopted, other adopted babies appear to adapt to their new families with apparent ease, yet the price they pay is that of burying their pain, their losses, and the impact these have on their sense of self, of worth, and of their place in the world.

Transitions Counseling assists:

1. Birth mothers and birth fathers in helping their babies transition to an adoptive family and grieving the surrender of their baby
   
2. Adoptive parents to help their babies transition into their family
   
3. Adopted babies to heal from their early traumas and to adjust to their new family.

For further information about adoption issues in babies and children, follow these links:

http://www.birthpsychology.com/birthscene/adoption.html

http://home.earthlink.net/~axness/

http://www.adopting.org/ar.html

http://www.openadoption.org/bbetzen/parent.htm/t_blank

http://www.adoptshop.com/

For further information about Transitions Counselling

  claire@speaking4baby.com

TOP (Menu)